A redneck holiday

Twas the night before Christmas
in my double wide house

Not a soul was stirring
'cus I'd just shot the last mouse

There wern't no salcks ta hang on the wall
a'cus no one wey knew wared socks...not even maw

Then out in the yard came such a noise and claimar
(like the time the law cum and took uncle Roy to the slammer)

then maw told me"get ye on out there Sammy,
or I tell you ill thump you and redden your fanny"

well get'n up at 12 A.M! wan't a'tall fun
but I pocked a hole in the vis queen and pointed my gun

Then what with my bloodshot eyes did I see
but a fly'n ford full'a dawgs a'cumin at me

Then I blinked triply or forpley and again did check
"THE LEGENDS TRUE EVERYBODY, ITS THE CHRISTMAS RED NECK!"

He came cum screech'n to a halt on 'flat squirrel avenue'
and our stove pipe got much bigg'r when ol' Santey cum thoo

ummmmm...... Ill write the rest of it later